Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Oregon. Spring break. Sun.

Hmmm.

It's been in the 60s here for the past couple of weeks and it feels more like May out there than March. While this is a far cry from the weather in Cabo this time of year, this is the first Oregon spring break I can recall where it didn't rain the whole time.

And where am I during all this? In an office, chained to a computer. If I want a suntan, I'm going to have to take off the UV filter on my halogen lamp and wear it as a hat. If the words "spring" and "break" mean "vacation" instead of "just another week," you probably aren't reading this. You're probably sitting in a lawn chair surrounding by pina coladas. To you I humbly extend this warm greeting:

WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, JACKASS! YOU'LL BACK IN SCHOOL AND/OR WORK IN A FEW SHORT DAY! BWAHAHAHAHA!

For everyone out there trapped under fluorescent lights, there's always the South Park character generator. If I was eight years old and animated this is how I would look:

They even have a cute little headset accessory. There's also chainsaws and beer bottles. I guess the Flash programmers behind this really know their audience: bitter office drones and drunk lumberjacks.

Hat tip? Hasser.