These two slices of bar banter comes from the Driftwood Room, everyone's favorite hotel bar that feels like a '60s-era airport lounge.

An off-duty bellboy and an off-duty mechanic were sitting at the bar. Their conversation shifted from the nude beach on Sauvie Island to the "perfect" BBQ sauce for chicken. The mechanic reveled his recipe to the bellboy and anyone who might be eavesdropping. Here it is:

MAD DOG CHICKEN SAUCE

- 1/2 cup "dark red" MD 20/20. AKA Mad Dog.
- 1/2 cup BBQ sauce

Cut open chicken breast. Spoon liberally inside and out for "good flavor."

I have yet to try it but don't let that stop you! There was also this mini-rant from an aging beatnik sitting nearby. As transcribed off a napkin:

"My kid is in boot camp. He's one of these guys that'll be in a tank, hit a rock and it'll blow up. I'm going to Georgia for his graduation in three months. I'm going to walk on stage and shoot him in the foot. He isn't going to Iraq. I'll write a letter to his commanding officer. He was a bed wetter at 3 and he's been cross-dressing since age 6. This is my legacy."