Final tally? I was 8 for 9. Not too shabby but all the favorites won. The 76th Annual Academy Awards may have the most predictable in its history. The only surprise of the night was Renee Zellweger's win for her portrayal of a shit kickin' cowgirl.

Zellweger?

Shit kickin' cowgirl?

Hee...hee...hee...HA...HA...HA!!!

Sorry, it gets me every time I think about it.

But back to the headline attached to this post. Speaking of repulsive nudes, take a look at my neeked computer:

Much like everything I own, this old thing should have been replaced years ago. I threw away 3 hours last night trying to install a new DVD drive. This should have taken 30 minutes, tops. No matter what I do, no matter what the configuration, Windows acknowledges the drives but stubbornly refuses to read the discs in them. To make matters more nightmarish, un-doing and reconfiguring the ribbons is like trying to perform brain surgery on a conscious monkey with ADD.

This rotten little machine forced me to miss most of the Oscarcast. I'll probably invest another 26-hours of time into fighting with it to no avail. If there's anything I hate more than Billy Crystal's nude torso, it's these godforsakin' ribbons.