So it is. And if you think about it, NYE could very well be the stoopidest of all holidays.

Yes, there should be a celebration for the last day of the year and yes, it should incorporate massive amounts of alco-mo-hol followed by copious amounts of college football the next day BUT does the celebration have be centered around a big glass ball?

This year, 1,000,000,000 people are expected to tune into the Times Square bash where 1,000,0000,000,000,003 revilers will be drinking and screaming in the streets in honor of...a big glass ball. Here in Portland, thousands are expected to watch a smaller ball fall in Pioneer Square. No matter where you are tonight, there's a good chance you'll be staring at a glass ball at the stroke of midnight.

Is this really the best we can do?

Of course not. This year, Vegas is completely upstaging the classic celebration in NYC. In addition to the town usual barrage of legalized gambling, prostitution and open containers, heavy security due to Level Orange and the largest fireworks show in the world will ring in the New Year. Blackhawk helicopters will patrol air while sharpshooters scan crowds from the vantage of hotel casino roofs. Even better, gunships will roam the streets. Military vehicles, hookers, explosions, booze, warm weather and blackjack...could there be a better atmosphere in which to mumble the words to Auld Lang Syne? Of course not.

Somewhere in the middle of all this will be Flog.

You'd better be taking pictures, asshole.

PS: Apparently it's dipping down into the 30s tonight in Vegas. En-cred-a-ble!