April 2011

Another blog. About Portland. And other stuff too.

about | archives | twitter | flickr | potma | iphone snapshots | facebook | yelp
rss feed | youtube | links | the burning log


Questions? Comments? Reservations?
anotherportlandblog[at]gmail[dot]com

Another Portland Blog

Monday, December 08, 2003

 

Curses! Blast! Arrrrgh!





Why wasn't I informed about this?

Last week, the Portland Mercury began an online gift auction. Among the items listed was the opportunity to design the front cover of one issue. The auction ended two hours ago. Flip!

Had I known about this before the deadline, I could be on the road to vengeance. You see, a year ago I applied for a production internship at the Mercury. For some strange reason I didn't get the job. This could have had something to do with the rampant grammatical errors of my application or the work samples I provided that were crayon drawings of tanks on the back of a Red Robin paper place mat. Regardless, I'm still convinced that I wasn't hired because of the editors are a bunch of no-good, hateful, xenophobic, black-hearted, racist hipsters.

Well, racist against people that don't wear vintage clothing or faun over vinyl singles by unknown local punk bands. Oh, how I loath those happy Whos, er, indie rockers living in Whoville, er, east Portland gallivanting around town with their weekly rag funded by a east-coast media conglomerate. Am I jealous playa' hata'? Of course not. *Sniff*

Had I won the auction, my cover would have been a stroke of devious genius worthy of both Dr. Moriarty AND Dr. Pepper. The Mercury prides itself on its sardonic covers. Mine would have made those malevolent hipsters cry while simultaneously wetting their pants. It would have been simple, b & w cover with the following words written in 70-point font.

We secretly wish we were working for Willamette Week.
We also love red meat, actually detest
the local music scene and haven't
allowed a single drop of PBR to pass
our lips since we relocated here from
LA.


OK, fine. Maybe it's not so great but, in my defense, I just found out about this auction ten minutes ago. The cover eventually sold for over $600 (!!!), likely making some trust-fund artist in Laurelhurst extremely happy. Would $600 and a month without food or shelter have been a worthy trade for retribution? Maaaaaaybe.

Meanwhile, someone paid a whopping $105 for a dream date with editor WM Stephen Humphrey. There's a story behind this but we'll probably never find out what it is.

To read about the rest of the items, click here.

Comments: Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]



Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home


SEARCH THIS BLOG? SURE, NO PROBLEMO, AS BART SIMPSON USED TO SAY....





www.flickr.com




-archives-

  • October 2003
  • November 2003
  • December 2003
  • January 2004
  • February 2004
  • March 2004
  • April 2004
  • May 2004
  • June 2004
  • July 2004
  • August 2004
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • August 2010
  • September 2010
  • October 2010
  • November 2010
  • January 2011
  • February 2011
  • March 2011
  • April 2011

  • Clicky Web Analytics


    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?