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Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Psycho Safeway: ??? - 2003
As if this town couldn't get any more gentrified.
Last month, the Safeway on 10th and Jefferson closed its doors forever. Unlike most Safeways, this one had a piss-poor attitude and a nasty reputation. No, it wasn't like all the other grocery stores. It hung around with a bad crowd on the wrong side of the tracks and smoked cigarettes. Over the years, this Safeway became known as..dun...dun....dun! PSYCHO SAFEWAY!
We will miss it.
Psycho Safeway wasn't just a supermarket, it was an experience. Hobos wandered the aisles. Elderly homeless women hung around the seafood department, professing their intentions to buy every single live lobster and release them in the Pacific...once they hit the lottery. Schizophrenics in leather jackets, gangstas, victims of Tourette's Syndrome and (GASP!) PSU students all shopped here.
The place was notorious and, over the years, teenage suburbanites traveled from miles around in search of anecdotes. Depending on the hour and the phases of the moon, they either found a carnivale extradionare or...a really old grocery store with a leaky roof.
Psycho Safeway still stands...for the time being, surrounded by a chainlink fence. A new Safeway has opened across the street but it will never be able to live up to the reputation of its predecessor. The place is spotless and looks like a Zupan's. When Blog visited it, there wasn't a single hobo or puddle of puke among its immaculate, spacious aisles. This new Uber-Safeway even has a Starbucks inside with overstuffed chairs and a fireplace with the following warning:
"Caution! Fireplace can be hot!"
Psycho Safeway, you are gone but not forgotten. Good night, sweet prince.