Blog loves the concept of Thanksgiving but has never been able to get into the spirit of the season. Gorging yourself on massive amounts of food in honor of Manifest Destiny is, admittedly, a fantastic idea for a holiday but why does turkey have to be the centerpiece?

Turkey is bland and flavorless. In a nation like America, shouldn't beef take its place? The effects of Tryptophan might make a nice metaphor for Thanksgiving but hamburger is more iconic. If such a thing as "tofurky" can exist, why not a steak shaped like a turkey?

Tomorrow, Blog will eat a single slice of turkey and attempt to make a meal out of mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. Sometime later, he'll probably wander off in search of an open Taco Bell, like he does every year. This time, maybe he'll take along a copy of "David Copperfield" which just happens to written by Charles DICKins.