Blog doesn't usually keep tabs on tabloid fodder (Prince Charles is a wha...?) but when the name "Michael Jackson" is involved, "Entertainment Tonight" suddenly develops hypnotic abilities.

Yesterday, the kind, decent folks at "Celebrity Justice" revealed disturbing evidence discovered at the Neverland Ranch. While searching files and computers, authorities allegedly discovered a hidden door in the King of Pop's walk-in-closet.

Now what could Michael Jackson be hiding in a secret room? Hmmmmmm......what could it be? A Hello Kitty diary? A stash of Playboys? Maybe a nickelbag?

No, it wasn't any of that....

...are you ready for this?

Really ready?

Are you sure?

OK, here goes....

The secret room contained countless pictures of bare-chested children. The centerpiece was an autographed shot of old-pal Macaulay Culkin with the words "don't leave me in the house alone."

That should provide with you plenty of snuggly, warm mental images. The King of Pop's arraignment is set for January. Kobe Bryant, eat your heart out.