If you've got a penis and you've been living in America for at least a decade, there's a 97% chance you've seen The Jerk. It's a Steve Martin movie that was released waaaaaaay back in 1979. In some circles, it's more sacred than The Goonies and The Blues Brothers combined.

In one scene, Martin makes a meal out of something called "Pizza in a Cup." The movie never explains exactly what it is but suggests that it's similar to Noodles in a Cup. Pizza in a Cup sounds tasty, and since no else can be bothered to actually create it, Blog will.

Just like the Coldplay song warns, "nobody said it would be easy." It's obvious that Pizza in a Cup should include ingredients like pepperoni, sauce and mozzarella cheese but what should be the equivalent of dough? In my first attempt, angel hair pasta served as a substitute.

While boiling the pasta, I mixed the sauce, cheese and pepperoni in a bowl and heated them for three minutes in a microwave. Once the noodles were finished, I tossed in the sauce concoction and stirred heavily.

The end result looked like lasagna but tasted like spaghetti covered in pizza toppings. It was good but didn't really taste like a pizza. It was more like 75% spaghetti, 25% pizza.

First attempt? Failure.

Regardless, this concoction should be given a name. I will call it PIZZGHETTI!

Am I discouraged? No. if I'm going to make $50 million dollars by stealing ideas from Steve Martin, then the quest for Pizza in a Cup must continue unabated.

And, no, you can't steal the pizzghetti idea. It's already trademarked AND copyrighted.